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The Bin



....

Stuff.
It's all around us.
Just look around.
It's there.

I like to think myself a connoisseur on all things neat and interesting. Weird and curious is welcome too.

So if you have something you think might belong in the bin, drop me a note.


I am looking for cat pictures. Your cat. Do you have a cat? Dogs will do too. Or any animal you take care of. How about we make a PET section.
*nod me*





Ask Sam!
February 2004

1.
Hello my name is Franchesca, recently while looking in the mirror I noticed I had a ton of ear hair. And I dont mean just any ear hair ive got more hair in my ears then on my head. Once I even had a girl come up to me and ask my if she could brush my hair, and when we sat down, she began to brush my ear hair by mistake. Please tell me what I can do about it!
Franchesca,

I find ear hair sexy. I'm sure that girl did, too. Forget about your ear hair and work on improving your grammar.

- Sam



2.
Dear Sam, Ok... I have a problem. One day after school, I went into the nearby drug store and bought a pack of mints because I felt the urge to have my breath smell minty fresh. Anyway.... so I go home, set the mints on my dresser, then go sit on my bed and do my homework. Then, I hear my mom come in the door. I hear her walk up to my door and come in to say she's home like she always does. When she pops her head in, she looks at my dresser and starts screaming at me. I have no idea what I did! She's just screaming and yelling at me! Then, I realize what she is screaming about. *Here's the problem.* She thinks my mints are DRUGS!!! So, now she thinks I am a druggie. And get this, she thinks I bought them from some homeless guy on the street and she claims that he got them Cambodia!!??!! I try to tell my mom that they're just breath mints, but she doesn't believe me. I tell her to taste them, but then she slaps me! So now, I am locked up in my room all alone because my Mom thinks I am doing/dealing drugs. Help Me! What Should I do???

Sincerely.
Sally M. Smith
Sally,

Okay, if your mom knows a "homeless guy/drug dealer" in the first place, she's only locking you up in your room cause she's getting high with her cooking club buddies in the basement.

- Sam



3.
Dear Samantha, Everyday my breasts itch. I sneak off to the bathroom and put lotion on them. When I get back to class they itch again. They are constantly red and driving me crazy. People make fun of me for constantly itching my breasts. What should I do about them?

- Stephanie
Stephanie,

It's probably contagious. And I'm not a dermatologist so I don't know how to fix it, but you can get them to stop laughing at you by rubbing their breasts so that they'll itch, too!

- Sam



4.
Dear Samantha. I have a friend who I think is homosexual. He calls me his slave and plays with neo pets. If he ever does me a favor I have to walk to the Metro grocery store with him. I think he is gay but I can't get him to come out to me. Is there anything I can say to him?

-Claire
Claire,

Honey, he's not gay. He's kinky.

- Sam